I try not to compare this relationship to any other previous relationship, as I feel that is unfair and this relationship should be dealt with on its’ own merits. However, I had an experience the other day that really brought home for me the HUGE difference in how my soon-to-be husband feels about me in comparison to how my first husband felt about me. I am choosing to share it because, well, it’s sweet and I want to! Here goes:
Several years ago, I worked at a gas station/convenience store about 20 miles from my house. One afternoon, I got off work and headed home in my little Geo Metro (that’s the pregnant roller skate, in case you were wondering) right into a very bad storm. It was a horrible storm, in fact. The sky kept getting darker and the wind picked up immensely, blowing my little car back and forth on the road. I attempted to call home on my cell phone but no one answered and I soon lost service, so it really didn’t matter anyway. I was almost halfway home when I started seeing tree limbs, very large tree limbs, blowing all over. One almost hit my car. I was terrified. I kept thinking, “Please let me get home okay, please let me get home okay.” Just then a large gust of wind nearly knocked me off the road. I looked around and saw what looked like cyclones starting up in multiple places. There was a house up ahead that had cars in the driveway, so I stopped, hoping that someone (anyone!) was home and could let me in to safety. As I pulled up the driveway, a small boat (I think they’re called jon boats?) went flying in front of me. By this point, I was shaking uncontrollably and close to tears. A person came running out to meet me and ushered me in. I have never, in my life before and since, been so thankful to strangers for their kindness. I hugged the first person I saw after stepping inside and burst into tears.
We huddled in their kitchen until the storm had passed, and after many thank-you’s and hugs, I headed home. All in all, I made it home about two hours after I had gotten off work.
When I returned home, I ran up to my then person and reassured him that I was okay. He stared blankly at me. The idea that I was driving in that horrid storm seemed to have been completely missed by him. There was no concern over my safety whatsoever, and certainly no empathy for my harrowing experience. He simply didn’t care.
So, there’s that story. Now here’s what happened the other day:
My friend, K, was recently house-sitting for a client and we were able to swim in their pool during the days she stayed there. Oh, that was heavenly! On Saturday, I left their place for home and headed right into a storm. During the drive, Mike called me. One of the first things he mentioned was that there was a storm and was I okay? He then empathized with my dislike for driving in them. Before we got off the phone, he said to be careful and that he loved me. Keep in mind that he has never heard the other story and therefore had no way of knowing just how upsetting driving in storms are to me. He didn’t need to know it. He cares about me and he cares about what upsets me.
I am revelling in that feeling of being cared for, and I hope I convey that to him. I hope I revel in that feeling forever and never forget that it wasn’t always there.