I wonder if all to-be-marrieds struggle with who to invite. I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone. The potential to hurt some feelings by accidentally (or on purpose) leaving someone out is huge! Maybe that’s why so many choose to just invite everyone and be done with it.
When we first talked about getting married, we both agreed that we wanted to keep the guest list small and intimate. It seemed silly to us to invite every person we know. Instead, we thought we would just invite those people who we interact with on a regular basis as well as a few key family members.
Facebook doesn’t help. I have a lot of “friends” there, as does he. Most of these are not people we interact with regularly, or even talk to in person at all. For example, I have several “friends” I’ve never met. Those were easy not to invite. The ones who I “talk” with regularly were a bit harder. In the end, though, I know (hope?) that they’ll understand.
Basically, if I wouldn’t invite you to my housewarming party or my child’s birthday, we’re obviously not that close. It doesn’t mean I don’t like you, it just means that….what does it mean exactly? I suppose it *could* mean many different things. It could mean that you live so far away, I know you can’t come and I don’t want you to feel obligated to send me a gift because I sent you an invitation. It could mean that you don’t really know Mike (or vice versa) and it would be weird to invite you to a celebration of us. Lots of possibilities.
When all the invitations have been sent out, I imagine there will be some hurt feelings no matter what I do. I’ve made my peace with that. We thought about the people who support us most as a couple, the people we call when things are good/bad/ugly, the people who love us even though we have faults and that’s who we asked to surround us on our day.